Be Open — Let It Flow, Not Force

This morning, my husband reminded me of something beautiful.

He said, “Be open to opportunities. Be open to accept. Don’t force yourself into achieving, doing, or earning. Just be open. The universe will create a way and guide you there.”

It struck something deep in me  because it echoed a truth I’ve always believed in when it came to love.

I used to tell people, “I didn’t find love by chasing it. I found it when I stopped forcing and just opened my heart to knowing people sincerely.”

And it was true. I stopped dating with pressure, stopped overthinking, and just started being myself genuinely curious, honest, open. And love showed up. In the kindest, most natural way.

No control. No script. Just trust.

The same energy applies to everything:

Jobs

Friendships

Projects

Even money

When we loosen our grip, we allow space for magic.

When we stop obsessing over timelines and goals and “how things should happen,” we leave space for how they’re meant to happen.

So here's your reminder today:

Be open.

Receive without clinging.

Act without forcing.

Let go of the outcome.

And believe that the right things will find you  in work, love, or life when you’re ready to hold them.

Let life unfold. You don’t always have to push. Sometimes, you just need to allow.

Sitting With Yourself for an Hour: Why It Matters & How to Do It

Why Sit With Yourself?

In today’s world, we are constantly doing: working, scrolling, talking, planning. We rarely stop to just be. But spending intentional time alone with yourself, without distractions, is one of the most powerful things you can do for your mental and emotional well-being.

Here’s why:

1. You hear your real thoughts

Without external noise, you can finally hear what’s really going on inside. The fears, desires, and needs that usually get drowned out begin to surface.

2. You build emotional resilience

Learning to be with uncomfortable emotions like boredom, anxiety, and loneliness, without running away from them, helps you grow stronger from within.

3. You reconnect with your intuition

The more you sit in stillness, the clearer your inner voice becomes. You might gain unexpected clarity about something you’ve been struggling with.

4. You develop self-trust

Just like any relationship, spending time with yourself builds trust. You begin to feel safe in your own company.

How to Sit With Yourself for an Hour

You don’t need candles, mantras, or a perfect setting. Just follow these simple steps:

1. Set the intention

Decide that this hour is for you. Not to be productive, but to be present.

2. Create a quiet space

Sit somewhere comfortable like a room, your car, or a bench. Turn off your phone or put it in airplane mode.

3. Don’t plan what to think about

Let your mind wander. You’re not here to control your thoughts, just to notice them.

4. Breathe

Focus on your breath whenever your mind starts to spiral. No need to force deep breaths. Just become aware of your natural rhythm.

5. Feel

If something uncomfortable comes up, sit with it. Ask yourself what this feeling might be trying to tell you.

6. Be gentle

If the hour feels long or awkward, that’s okay. This isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about showing up for yourself.

Sitting with yourself isn’t about achieving something. It’s about coming home to yourself. In the quiet, you may hear parts of you that have been waiting patiently to be heard. And little by little, you’ll remember that your own presence is enough.

Why I No Longer Feel Guilty Paying for Convenience ?

A couple of years back, I was in the car with Kavin after a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. It was one of those rare nights we tried valet parking.

Back then, I didn’t get it.

“Why would anyone pay RM20 just to park their car?”

It felt excessive. Wasteful, even.

We were still figuring life out, budget-conscious, and had that “do everything yourself” mindset.

But now?

Now I understand.

When you can afford valet parking, you’re not just paying to avoid a walk.

You’re valuing your time.

Instead of hiking through basement levels, hunting for your car, and navigating tight ramps, you step out of the restaurant, your car rolls up, and you drive off calm, composed, and unbothered.

No stress. No time wasted.

You Save Time Using Money

Convenience used to make me feel guilty.

Now, I see it differently: it’s not laziness it’s intentional living. It’s about choosing how I spend my energy.

Here are a few other things I’ve learned to embrace:

Grocery delivery: I trade 2 hours of supermarket stress for time to rest, create, or connect with my loved ones. (Sometimes)

Hiring a cleaner: Once a month, I invest in peace so I can pour my energy into what feeds my soul or gain knowledge.

Grab rides before interview or appointment: Arriving fresh and focused instead of sweaty and flustered? Worth every ringgit.

You Don’t Have to Earn Exhaustion

Somewhere along the way, we were taught that if it doesn’t come with struggle, it doesn’t count.

That doing everything ourselves is noble. That exhaustion is a badge of honour.

But burnout is not a flex.

If you can trade money to buy back peace of mind, energy, or time with your parents, kids, or even yourself.

That’s not being spoiled.

That’s being smart.

You Choose Your Mindset

Not everyone can afford valet parking today and that’s okay.

But the shift starts with asking yourself:

Do I want to stay stuck in a mindset that says, “That’s only for rich people”?

Or do I want to build a life where I can afford to save time and offer that ease to my parents or future children too?

Because they deserve to experience these things too—

A stress-free evening.

A smooth ride.

A taste of a soft life.

A moment to exhale.

We’re all living this life for the first time why not make room for ease?

So if you’ve ever felt guilty choosing the “easy” way, this is your reminder:

You’re allowed to value your time.

You’re allowed to protect your energy.

And sometimes, valet parking is more than just parking.

It’s a mindset shift.

It’s a declaration that your time matters.

One Small Step Is Enough

This morning, I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.

Not because I was tired but because I didn’t see a point. When you’ve been in survival mode for too long, even brushing your hair can feel like a pointless task. I know that place. I’ve lived there.

But today, instead of trying to figure out my whole life, I did one thing.

I opened the window.

That’s it.

No productivity hack.

No deep mindset shift.

Just a breath of fresh air and the sound of birds from somewhere beyond the city noise.

And you know what? That was enough. For now.

The Trap of Big Answers

I used to wait for clarity to strike like lightning. I’d postpone action until I had a perfect plan, a five-year vision, or a guaranteed outcome.

But healing and rediscovery don’t work like that. They rarely come with a blueprint.

They begin with tiny steps:

Making your bed.

Drinking a glass of water.

Answering a message.

Sitting in silence for five minutes.

Not because those steps will change everything.

But because they remind you: you’re still capable of movement.

You Don’t Have to Know Everything

The pressure to fix your entire life in a day is heavy.

You don’t need that weight right now.

All you need is one small act of kindness toward yourself.

One gentle decision.

One honest moment.

One pause before the spiral.

And if that’s all you can do today, it is more than enough.

Tiny Sparks of Hope

When I was in one of the most disconnected phases of my life, a friend asked me, “What’s one small thing that gave you even a tiny sense of peace or joy this past week?”

At first, I almost brushed it off. My mind went, “Nothing. Everything feels flat.” But instead of forcing a big answer, I paused. I allowed the question to sit.

And then I remembered:

One afternoon, I took a walk after the rain. The road was still wet, the air cool. I wasn’t rushing anywhere. I looked up and saw a bird hopping between power lines and for that one second, something in me softened. I breathed a little deeper.

It was small. Almost too small to mention.

But it mattered.

Why Tiny Sparks Matter ?

We often wait for the big joys to count. Promotions, vacations, major breakthroughs. But when you’re feeling numb, overwhelmed, or just tired of trying those “big wins” can feel miles away.

That’s why I started collecting tiny sparks.

A good cup of coffee.

A message from a friend.

A clean bedsheet.

A quiet moment with no noise.

These aren’t signs of success. They’re reminders that life still flows. That even in the hardest seasons, we are capable of feeling even if just for a second.

Start Noticing Your Sparks

Try asking yourself this simple question at the end of each day or week:

“What gave me even a second of peace, joy, or comfort?”

Don’t overthink it. Let your answer be simple.

Over time, you’ll begin to see 

You’re not empty.

You’re not broken.

You’re still here.

And your soul still responds to light, even in tiny flickers.

When Was the Last Time You Felt Truly Alive or Excited About Something?

I still remember sitting across a client who looked lost eyes tired, voice flat. I asked gently, “When was the last time you felt truly alive or excited about something?” She paused, and then her eyes welled up. “I don’t remember,” she said. And I understood. Deeply.

Because I’ve been there too.

There was a time in my life where I didn’t even know what day it was. I was showing up to work, replying to emails, eating out of habit, sleeping with a restless mind, and waking up just as tired. I wasn’t sad or angry. I was just… numb.

Then one day, I asked myself that same question:

When was the last time I felt truly alive?

And my mind took me back—not to a fancy trip or big career win—but to a simple evening. I was sitting by the window with a book and coffee, it had just rained, and I had nowhere to be. That was it. But in that moment, I felt present. I felt me.

Why This Question Matters

When life feels like a loop, we forget what joy even feels like. Asking this question gently brings us back to ourselves. It’s not about chasing dopamine or waiting for some perfect moment. It’s about remembering what lights us up even slightly.

My Honest Answer Today

Today, what makes me feel alive is helping someone reconnect with themselves,bring value to someone's life. It's when a client or collegue says, “You helped me see myself again.” It’s also in the quiet moments café hopping, discovering a new blend of coffee, laughing with my husband at something silly. It’s not dramatic. It’s honest.

If you’re reading this and feel disconnected, try journaling this:

When was the last time I felt a sense of peace, joy, or excitement even just a spark?

What was I doing?

Who was I with?

What part of me felt seen or fulfilled in that moment?

And don’t worry if you can’t remember right away. Sometimes we have to sit with the question for a while before the answers rise.

This question won’t fix everything overnight. But it’s a start. A soft reminder that the version of you who felt alive before? She’s still in there. She’s just waiting for you to look her way again.

The Final Gaslight: How You Exposed the Lies I Once Believed

“Maybe we have a problem as a society. Maybe we should fix what’s broken within us. Maybe the problem isn’t me. Maybe it’s you,” Joe says, looking straight into the camera.

That line. That last line from the final episode of YOU—it hit like a slap in the face. I paused. Rewound. Played it again. Did I hear that right? Was this show, which I once viewed as a subtle feminist critique, really turning the blame back on us—the audience? Was You saying that we were somehow complicit?

For five seasons, you might also watched Joe Goldberg a manipulative stalker and serial killer prey on women under the guise of love. His voiceovers romanticized his every move, turning obsession into devotion, violence into twisted justice. And we kept watching. Some of us even rooted for him. But then came that chilling moment, where Joe, in a final act of control, shifts the blame to society… to us.

Excuse me? Should we feel guilty for watching? For being drawn in by the thrill, the darkness, the slow unraveling of his victims' lives? For seeing the red flags and hoping—irrationally—that maybe this time he wouldn't kill her?

This, right here, is Joe’s most dangerous manipulation. His last gaslight. A mirror held up to women everywhere who’ve been blamed for the harm done to them. It's no different from asking a survivor, “But what were you wearing?”

And still… we did watch. We did thirst. We did ask for more.

But here’s what needs to be said: liking You doesn't mean we support what Joe did. We are not cheering for the real-life predators. We are not broken for finding complexity in fiction. What’s insulting is the suggestion that female audiences can’t differentiate between fantasy and reality—that we’re somehow responsible for the monster the show created.

Yet, Joe’s words opened a wound. A wound many of us have lived with quietly.

Because that final scene reminded me of every toxic man I waited on. Every time I gave someone “one more chance,” thinking love could fix the cracks. I remembered how I made excuses—he’s just emotionally unavailable, he’s had a rough past, he doesn’t know how to express love. I remembered how I romanticized red flags and mistook emotional chaos for passion.

You is not just about Joe. It’s about us. About what we tolerate, what we normalize, and the lies we tell ourselves in the name of love. It’s about how society teaches women to endure rather than escape. To explain rather than confront. To heal others at the cost of our own scars.

So no, Joe. The problem is you. But maybe you were right about one thing maybe we do have a problem as a society. And maybe, just maybe, the show you starred in forced us to finally look it in the eye.

But here’s the part I’m most proud to write:

I’ve passed that stage.

I’m grateful I learned.

I walked away from toxic men.

And I’ve found love,real love that feels safe, kind, and nourishing.

And that love? It doesn’t come with red flags. It comes with peace.

"Learning to Let Those We Love Be Human"

“You’re just like my father—always pointing out my mistakes,reacting too much,blaming me.”

My husband says this to me sometimes.

And I pause.

Not because I agree.

But because it makes me reflect.

I don’t know much about his father.

But I do know this:

Sometimes I do get irritated when mistakes are repeated.

Not because I think he’s incapable.

But because I know how intelligent, talented, and capable he truly is.

That’s the truth.

And that’s where the problem begins.

When you love someone deeply and admire them on so many levels,

you unconsciously put them on a pedestal.

You expect them to “know better.”

To “do better.”

To not mess up the way others might.

Because in your eyes—they’re not like others.

You know them so well, they are so smart to do a stupid mistake !!!

But that’s unfair.

We forget that even the most brilliant minds

can forget to turn off the lights,

say something without thinking,

or overlook small things in the rush of daily life.

And yet we hold them to higher standards

because we see their potential so clearly.

But love is not about potential.

It’s about presence.

About grace.

About letting the people we adore

be human around us—again and again.

So maybe I am like his father sometimes.

But I’m learning.

To pause.

To breathe.

To accept.

To remember that mistakes don’t shrink a person’s greatness.

They make space for softness, understanding, and connection.

Is it Manifestation or Just Noise ?

It’s beautiful to see people manifest the life they want.

To have dreams, write them down, speak them out loud, visualize them daily.

It’s powerful. Sacred. Deeply personal.

But sometimes, let’s be honest,it gets a little loud.

Post after post, story after story, declaration after declaration…

“I’m manifesting this car.”

“I’m attracting this job.”

“I just know I’m becoming a millionaire this year.”

Maybe they’re treating social media like a vision board.

And hey, maybe that works for them.

But where’s the line between intentional manifestation and… just oversharing?

Where’s the line between belief and performance?

Moderation matters.

Because manifestation, when done with true alignment, doesn’t always need an audience.

Sometimes the most powerful shifts happen quietly—

in your journal,

in a whispered prayer,

in the daily actions no one sees.

You can absolutely share your process.

Inspire others.

Celebrate wins.

But it’s okay to hold a few dreams close.

Let the universe, God, or your higher self work in the unseen.

Not everything needs to be posted.

Not everything needs validation.

So if you’re manifesting something big, amazing.

Just remember:

Balance is peace.

Humility is power.

And your energy will speak louder than any post ever could.

Why Life Feels Easier for Them, But Not for Me

Have you ever looked at someone’s life and thought 

“Why is life working out for them, but not for me?”

“Why do they get the wins, the love, the success… while I’m still stuck?”

It’s a common feeling.

But what you're seeing is only the surface.

The filtered version. The highlight reel.

People don’t post their breakdowns.

They don’t record their sleepless nights,

their failures, their rejections, their embarrassments.

They don’t share the days they doubted themselves,

felt like giving up, or quietly cried in the car after pretending they were okay.

What you see — is the outcome.

What you don’t see — is the journey.

Everyone has their own version of hell to walk through.

Some walk it silently.

Some have no one to talk to.

Some fall apart before they figure it out.

The truth is — most people earn their peace.

They go through pain to get where they are.

They fight battles you’ll never hear about.

And maybe that includes you, too.

If you’re still in the middle of your struggle,

still waiting for your breakthrough —

know this:

You're not behind.

You’re just becoming.

So instead of saying, “Why not me?”,

start saying, “My time will come too.”

And when it does,

Don’t be afraid to share your story —

because your scars might be someone else’s survival guide.

I'm still walking through mine, but I'm waiting to share my story too — when it's ready.

Until then, I'm becoming. And maybe you are too.

A Man Whose Only Dream Was to Love His Wife

In the Korean netflix series “When Life Gives You Tangerines,” there’s a quiet character named Gwan Sik — a humble, gentle man who stands out not for ambition or charisma, but for something far rarer these days: pure, unwavering love.

He didn’t dream of riches. He didn’t dream of fame.

His only dream — his entire life’s purpose — was to love his wife.

It sounds dreamy. Unrealistic, even.

Like something out of a fairy tale that couldn’t possibly survive in the real world.

But it did.

And it does.

Gwan Sik’s life wasn’t grand. It was simple.

Simple, not because he lacked ambition — but because he had already found what mattered most.

He didn’t need the world to know his name.

He just wanted her to feel safe, seen, and loved.

Every little gesture, every quiet act of care — was for her.

And I used to think people like him only existed in films and fiction… until I had a conversation with Kavin.

He’s been saying it since the day we started talking:

“My life purpose is to improve your life, to give you a better one, to make you happy. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Three years have passed, and that hasn’t changed.

Not once.

While I’ve been chasing so many things —

career goals, education, achievements, luxury, stability, validation —

he’s been chasing only one thing: my joy.

And honestly, for a long time, I didn’t realise what that meant.

I was measuring life by milestones and ticking off boxes,

but I missed the beauty of simply being loved — deeply and purely.

What Gwan Sik and Kavin remind me is this:

Life becomes meaningful when it is lived with purpose and love.

When you wake up not just for success, but for someone’s smile.

When your existence quietly makes another person’s world brighter.

There are people out there who love like this.

Men who devote their lives not to being great, but to being good — to the ones they love.

And women, too, who find purpose in care, loyalty, and unwavering presence.

We often call this unrealistic — but maybe,

it’s just rare.

And maybe it’s rare because the world keeps telling us we need more to be enough.

But the truth is…

Sometimes, the most beautiful life is the quiet one.

Built not on noise, but on love.

Not on how far you go, but on who you hold close while you’re there.

Let Go, Even When It Wasn't Okay

If you're carrying childhood trauma,bullying,abuse or resentment toward family members who failed to give you the emotional support and comfort you needed — I see you.

Maybe, when someone misbehaved with you and you share to someone, instead of hearing “I’m here for you” or “It’s not your fault”, you were asked “What did you do?”, “What you was wearing?”

And that moment changed you.

When you needed comfort, they offered silence or judgment.

When you needed safety, they made you feel like the blame was yours.

They dismissed your pain with words like, “Move on,” or “So what can we do now?”

It hurts.

And that pain often turns into anger, into grudges — against the people who failed you, and the situations that scarred you.

But I want to say this, gently: Let it go.

Not because what happened was okay. Not because they deserve your forgiveness.

But because you deserve peace.

Here’s the truth: we are all living this life for the first time.

Some people grow up without the emotional awareness to understand trauma.

Some were never taught how to support others through pain.

Some lack sensitivity, some lack knowledge, and some lack basic human understanding.

No one ever taught them:

How to respond to someone who’s been abused.

How to offer support instead of shame.

How to listen instead of lecture.

How not to re-traumatize a victim by dismissing their story.

Many people, especially from older generations, never even heard words like PTSD, ADHD, or depression.

Mental health was a taboo, not a topic.

But now we know better. And when we know better, we must do better.

So if you’re reading this and you have a daughter, a sister, a wife, a female friend — learn how to protect them.

Learn how to respond when they’ve been hurt.

Learn to love them with gentleness.

Learn to listen without judgment.

Learn what not to say when someone shares their trauma.

Because your life isn’t the same as theirs.

You can’t erase their past.

But you can help them feel safe enough to not go looking for peace in the wrong places.

Be the safe space someone else never got.

And if you’ve carried pain for far too long .. you are allowed to begin again.

Not for them.

For you.

When Memories Don’t Match: Understanding Mothers and Memory After Birth

Have you ever had an argument with someone particularly a mother where they completely denied saying something, or remembered it in a way that felt totally different from your version?

It’s happened to me many times.

At first, I used to think they were just being difficult… or even dishonest. But over time, I realized something important: they’re not lying. Their version of the memory is simply different. And if they seem overly emotional, defensive, or even aggressive it’s not entirely their fault.

After giving birth, many women experience something known as "postpartum memory fog" or what we casually call "mom brain." It’s real. And it can affect how memories are stored, processed, and recalled.

With the whirlwind of sleep deprivation, intense hormonal changes, emotional rollercoasters, and the physical and mental demands of caring for a newborn, it’s not surprising that:

A mother might forget a conversation entirely.

She might insist something happened a certain way because that’s how it felt to her.

Emotions around birth, support (or lack of it), and pressure can intensify or downplay memories, reshaping how events are remembered.

This isn’t about being dishonest. It’s the brain doing what it needs to do to cope, survive, and protect. Memory isn’t a recording—it’s a reconstruction.

There was a time I bumped into an old colleague I was once very close to. As we spoke, I realized she didn’t remember anything about me worse still, she couldn’t even recall the company we had worked at together. She gently explained that during childbirth, certain neurological changes affected her memory.

Still, for someone on the other side of this dynamic, it can be incredibly frustrating.

I’ve experienced it many times.

I didn’t know how to handle it, so I did what I always do when things become too heavy:

I walk away.

I end the conversation for the sake of my peace of mind and sometimes, I even end the relationship.

Because when someone shouts at me, is unkind, or makes me feel disrespected, I choose not to stay in that space. Even if I'm just a witness in the room, watching someone else being treated poorly, I quietly excuse myself.

That’s not the kind of energy I want around me.

Postpartum is real. Not every woman goes through it the same way but for those who do, they may not even realize what’s happening. And those around them may not know how to respond.

So what can we do?

If you’re dealing with someone who’s being unreasonable, aggressive, or unkind and they’ve recently had a child or are clearly overwhelmed here are a few gentle thoughts:

Pause before reacting. It may not be personal.

Offer space and empathy. Sometimes what someone needs is to feel safe, not challenged.

Know your boundaries. Protecting your peace is valid too.

Educate yourself and others. Understanding postpartum mental health can help all of us support each other better.

We’re all carrying memories shaped by emotion, stress, and experience. The more we accept that, the more compassion we can offer even when walking away is still the healthiest choice for us.