What would you say to your inner child?

Learning Neuro Linguistic programming (NLP) has been an eye-opening journey, revealing how much of my insecurities, low self-esteem, and unhappiness were shaped by my childhood trauma and programming. I’ve come to understand that who we are is largely influenced by the environment we grew up in, the family dynamics we experienced, and the lessons we absorbed along the way.

Most people I know,their upbringing, lifestyle, and overall life experiences are a complete 360 degrees different from mine. They grew up with support, encouragement, and direction. They have been provided a strong foundation. In contrast, my childhood lacked these elements. I grew up with little support, few compliments, and almost no guidance. My father, an introvert, was not very involved in my life, rarely offering advice or sharing his opinions. My mother worked tirelessly to support us financially, and in typical Asian parenting fashion, compliments were scarce. The only feedback I often received was negative.

I know people traveled with parents from a young age and continued to explore the world during college years, I had a vastly different experience. I never traveled with my family or alone, nor did we even visit shopping malls together. In hindsight, I realize that my family dynamic was rather unusual.

Through life experiences, I've learned to compare and understand how our vastly different life experiences shaped us in unique ways. Our differences stem from the distinct ways we experienced life, and it's become clear how deeply our childhoods influence who we become as adults.

Now i feel like there is lots of healing has to be done for all childhood scars. mostly I feel I don't have even have inner child, i can't feel her in me. I've been always chasing ways to earn something, love , money and success in life since very young. The term “inner child” makes me feel skeptical, and self-conscious. There is a child inside of me, and I am supposed to…talk to her?

When experiencing emotions reminiscent of my childhood, I remind myself that as an adult, I now possess things I didn’t have back then:  power, control, and permission. I speak to the child I once was, affirming things I wish I had heard:

• "You are safe."
• "I’ve got you."
• "You are not alone. You have me."
• "I love you exactly as you are. You don’t need to excel at anything for me to love you more."
• "We will set boundaries together and protect them. If we need to say no, we will, even if it means alienating others. We will be OK."
• "Any emotion you feel is valid. Want to cry? Cry! Are you angry? I don’t blame you—I am too!"

What would you say to your inner child?