Maybe, when someone misbehaved with you and you share to someone, instead of hearing “I’m here for you” or “It’s not your fault”, you were asked “What did you do?”, “What you was wearing?”
And that moment changed you.
When you needed comfort, they offered silence or judgment.
When you needed safety, they made you feel like the blame was yours.
They dismissed your pain with words like, “Move on,” or “So what can we do now?”
It hurts.
And that pain often turns into anger, into grudges — against the people who failed you, and the situations that scarred you.
But I want to say this, gently: Let it go.
Not because what happened was okay. Not because they deserve your forgiveness.
But because you deserve peace.
Here’s the truth: we are all living this life for the first time.
Some people grow up without the emotional awareness to understand trauma.
Some were never taught how to support others through pain.
Some lack sensitivity, some lack knowledge, and some lack basic human understanding.
No one ever taught them:
How to respond to someone who’s been abused.
How to offer support instead of shame.
How to listen instead of lecture.
How not to re-traumatize a victim by dismissing their story.
Many people, especially from older generations, never even heard words like PTSD, ADHD, or depression.
Mental health was a taboo, not a topic.
But now we know better. And when we know better, we must do better.
So if you’re reading this and you have a daughter, a sister, a wife, a female friend — learn how to protect them.
Learn how to respond when they’ve been hurt.
Learn to love them with gentleness.
Learn to listen without judgment.
Learn what not to say when someone shares their trauma.
Because your life isn’t the same as theirs.
You can’t erase their past.
But you can help them feel safe enough to not go looking for peace in the wrong places.
Be the safe space someone else never got.
And if you’ve carried pain for far too long .. you are allowed to begin again.
Not for them.
For you.
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