Finding Meaning in Life

When people ask, "What should I do with my life?" or "What is my life purpose?" they're really asking: "How can I make my time meaningful?"

This question is much more practical and manageable than the abstract notion of "life purpose." Instead of contemplating cosmic significance while lounging on the couch with a bag of chips, it's more productive to get active and discover what truly matters to you. I don’t know if someone is passionate about knitting sweaters for kittens or creating content for their social media account. We can’t determine what’s right or meaningful for them.

Before we dive into specifics about discovering what matters to you, let's address some key points: the role of passion, the value of discomfort and pain, and even the concept of mortality.

Let’s start with mortality. Yes, we’re all going to die—every one of us. That moment is inevitable, and once it arrives, we won't be around to care about what we did or didn’t do.

The intriguing question isn't when we’ll die, but how. Will it be from cancer? A heart attack? A freak accident? Personally, I sometimes imagine dramatic scenarios like a parachute failure or a plane crash. Although it's morbidly fascinating to daydream about such scenarios, they are unlikely to happen.

When we think about our end, we often focus on the final moments—hospital beds, grieving loved ones, or emergency vehicles. Yet, we rarely consider the countless choices and habits that lead up to those final moments. Our lives are a series of steps, each contributing to the final chapter of our story.

With the talk of death out of the way, let’s shift focus to life—your life, specifically. Take a moment to think about what you want from life. Is it happiness? More money? A better job? More friends? True love? A stylish new sofa?

Everyone desires what feels good. We all want a carefree, happy life with love, perfect relationships, financial success, and admiration. It's easy to want those things.

However, if I ask you, “What do you want out of life?” and you respond with generic desires like “I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like,” it's too vague to be meaningful.

A more intriguing question, which you might not have considered before, is: What pain are you willing to endure in your life? What struggles are you prepared to face? This seems to be a more significant determinant of how our lives turn out.

Everyone wants an amazing job and financial independence, but not everyone is willing to endure 60-hour workweeks, long commutes, and navigating corporate hierarchies. People often want to be wealthy without the risk, sacrifice, or delayed gratification required to build real wealth.

Understanding what you’re willing to struggle for might be the key to finding what truly matters and creating a life that feels significant and fulfilling.

What would you say to your inner child?

Learning Neuro Linguistic programming (NLP) has been an eye-opening journey, revealing how much of my insecurities, low self-esteem, and unhappiness were shaped by my childhood trauma and programming. I’ve come to understand that who we are is largely influenced by the environment we grew up in, the family dynamics we experienced, and the lessons we absorbed along the way.

Most people I know,their upbringing, lifestyle, and overall life experiences are a complete 360 degrees different from mine. They grew up with support, encouragement, and direction. They have been provided a strong foundation. In contrast, my childhood lacked these elements. I grew up with little support, few compliments, and almost no guidance. My father, an introvert, was not very involved in my life, rarely offering advice or sharing his opinions. My mother worked tirelessly to support us financially, and in typical Asian parenting fashion, compliments were scarce. The only feedback I often received was negative.

I know people traveled with parents from a young age and continued to explore the world during college years, I had a vastly different experience. I never traveled with my family or alone, nor did we even visit shopping malls together. In hindsight, I realize that my family dynamic was rather unusual.

Through life experiences, I've learned to compare and understand how our vastly different life experiences shaped us in unique ways. Our differences stem from the distinct ways we experienced life, and it's become clear how deeply our childhoods influence who we become as adults.

Now i feel like there is lots of healing has to be done for all childhood scars. mostly I feel I don't have even have inner child, i can't feel her in me. I've been always chasing ways to earn something, love , money and success in life since very young. The term “inner child” makes me feel skeptical, and self-conscious. There is a child inside of me, and I am supposed to…talk to her?

When experiencing emotions reminiscent of my childhood, I remind myself that as an adult, I now possess things I didn’t have back then:  power, control, and permission. I speak to the child I once was, affirming things I wish I had heard:

• "You are safe."
• "I’ve got you."
• "You are not alone. You have me."
• "I love you exactly as you are. You don’t need to excel at anything for me to love you more."
• "We will set boundaries together and protect them. If we need to say no, we will, even if it means alienating others. We will be OK."
• "Any emotion you feel is valid. Want to cry? Cry! Are you angry? I don’t blame you—I am too!"

What would you say to your inner child? 

Is Your Definition of Success Stealing Your Peace?

 In recent times, I've met so many people struggling to pay off loans, housing loan,credit card,personal loan and many more. Think about how many years of life are taken away just to maintain those loan payments. This often leads to overworking, settling for unhappy jobs, staying in toxic environments, and so on. Mainly , house loan don't buy a house just because people around thinks that important.

Dear Reader,

If you find yourself resonating with what I’m about to share, know that you’re not alone. This is how I feel, and I hope my words offer you some connection and understanding. 

You are a remarkable soul, filled with kindness and resilience. You've faced struggles, pain, and disappointments, but within you lies immense courage, a fighting spirit, and deep compassion—strengths you may not fully realize. Don't settle for less, and don't accept everything as it comes. Believe that you are destined for greater things.

If your commitments are suffocating you and preventing you from truly living, it's time to let them go. People often say that material possessions are essential in life, and for some, success might mean owning a house. But that doesn't have to be your definition of success.

Is wanting to have material things wrong? No, it's not—if you can truly afford them. But let’s be real: most people can’t afford these luxuries outright, and that’s where bank loans come in. It's crucial to remember that you don’t fully own that house until the loan is completely paid off.

Consider this: What is the point of struggling to pay off loans and sacrificing 90% of your earnings to the bank? When the loan is finally paid off, will owning that property truly bring you happiness? Sure, the property value might increase, and you could sell it for something you desire, but is the time and effort spent on it truly meaningful and purposeful?

This brings us to a deeper question: What is success, and what is the purpose of your life? And even more importantly, what makes you happy? If you find yourself struggling to answer that question, just as I did when it was first posed to me, it might mean that you haven't yet had the chance to explore all that life has to offer.

But how can you explore when you're always tied to too many commitments? The answer lies in freeing yourself from those burdens and allowing space for discovery. Success isn’t about owning property—it's about living in peace and contentment. If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that nothing in life is permanent. Stability is an illusion, and true success lies in embracing what brings you joy and fulfillment.

Why Most Dating Advice is Bullshit

When it comes down to it, choosing the right person is not something that can be taught. It's a personal journey that is learned through experiences and by putting yourself out there. Despite what society and online dating experts may tell us, there is no one perfect type of person for us.

Reading about red flags in dating can lead to paranoia, as what may be a red flag for one person may not be for another. Rather than worrying about red flags, it's important to focus on building a meaningful relationship with another person. Dating apps can lead to a sense of entitlement and taking others for granted, but it's crucial to remember that at the end of the day, we are all human.

A relationship is like a dance, and every movement must be made carefully and in consideration of the partner's feelings. When you take a leadership role, you are actively working towards a desired outcome, but it's also important to pay attention to your partner's desires. Our hearts can often guide us towards what's right, even when our brain says otherwise. It's not about finding the perfect person, but rather the perfectly imperfect person who is right for us.

The abundance of information and options available to us can be overwhelming and lead to fear, overthinking, and missed opportunities. Rather than allowing life to pass us by, we should take a chance and not be afraid to pursue happiness. It's better to follow your heart, even if it leads to heartbreak, than to have a mediocre experience. So, don't let fear hold you back, and seize the moment while you can.

Is wearing Thali necessary for Women?

Let me get one thing clear here. I m not questioning the custom of putting thali in marriage-(not yet !). I am only questioning a thought process ,like you should wear thali always , it can’t be removed and it is long life of your husband…

There were many traditions we had and slowly they are vanishing into thin air one by one….Traditions were created by human to make sure that everyone leads a life with moral values and also to impart good culture in all.. But that was in olden days  now we have got enough exposure , we read a lot , we see lot of outside world and moral values and culture is never a universal phenomenon.. it varies from person to person … as long as we are good human beings I don’t see a major problem there.. which is appearing good in my eyes may be seen as wrong in your eyes

So,saying the scientific reason for wearing all the ornaments..it says wearing Thali increases blood circulation , and touch of metal with body is good bla bla..why can’t I wear a plain gold chain ?? why should it be thali/Mangalsutra??both are metals…

Respect to relationship ?

Is it a respect to the relationship ???I would say certainly not .. we see many incidents where people have affairs when husband is alive .. So I think respect should come based on the trust you have in the relationship than what you wear.. for that matter.

I dont really able to understand how do one’s life related to someone’s chain ??? not sounding logical to me.. If you want your husband to live long , you should pray for him .. agreed ( of course, people who dont trust in God wont even agree to this ) .. but how can one chain save him? Marriages are made in heaven ..doesnt God know that he is ur hubby ?does he need a ID proof ?

✔️Respect the relationship, be truthful and sincere to one another the bond between two individuals in a marriage is through love

✔️Respect is obviously a two way traffic, not one way. we share life and it is equally important for both of us to pray for other.. Days are gone where Men were seen superior now i think it is equal .

Wearing or not wearing thali/Mangalsutra is one’s own decision, I dont want to question one’s belief. If you trust , please follow. Dont force on others. if you dont follow , so be it again dont force on others..

TOPICS COUPLES AVOID : BUT SHOULDN'T

 

1. Career goals 

You and your partner’s career aspirations and goals should be discussed openly, too. It’s common for households to have dual career couples. Because of this, managing a relationship while pursuing your career and personal goals has become more crucial

2. Friends of opposite sex 

Defining boundaries with friends from the opposite sex can be a tricky subject. When one starts to commit to a relationship, friendships with the opposite gender may be one of the freedoms that need to be discussed. Boundaries should be clearly defined, and they should be applied not just in face to face interactions, but in all forms of interactions (i.e., texts, chats, and social media) as well.

3. Past relationship 

 Past relationships can reveal a lot about a person. They can also give birth to insecurity or resentment. When talking about past relationships, focusing more on general themes than on the details is the best way to handle this topic. Remember that the main goal of discussing past relationships is to strengthen and nurture the current one.

4. Sex 

Talking about sex and sexual compatibility is a big one. Many feel unsure and intimidated by the subject. So how do you steer the discussion towards this topic? Just talk about it there’s no other way around it. Remember that sexual compatibility is an ongoing process. Years of being together, maturity, and life events may have an impact on your views on sexuality.

5. Communication Styles

Communication styles vary from one person to another. One person may feel comfortable saying things outright, while another may hold back. One party may be an amplifier one who communicates by sharing what they have to say in great volumes of details while the other one is a condenser one who is, more often than not, comfortable sharing only a little of what is absolutely necessary. While there may be differences in how people communicate, understanding communication styles is key to a respectful and nourishing relationship.

6. Household Chores

Chores, errands, and housework can be a source of conflict if not plainly discussed. Typically, misunderstandings arise when couples disagree on what “clean” means. One may have a relaxed rule on what is acceptably clean, while the other may be totally opposite.

7. Family

Healthy couples deal with in-laws with respect and by understanding that different people have different ways. The key to managing in-laws is setting healthy boundaries, expressing these boundaries to your spouse, and taking steps even before things get out of hand.

8. Our Habits

Our personality quirks and habits make us unique and special. For instance, your significant other may have a distinct obsession with a particular food. Or maybe you snore when you sleep. While some of these habits may be the very reason why we are drawn to our partners, some may annoy and bother us. Honesty without judgment is the best stance to take. Note that bringing up the habit in the heat of an argument may feel threatening to the other party. Lastly, choose your battles. Before asking your partner to quit or stop a habit, reflect whether this habit in question has an impact on the relationship. If not, perhaps it’s something that you can let go.

There are no shortcuts to tackle these mentioned topics. Similarly, couples may view these topics with varying levels of ease. Some couples may not even consider the topics discussed here to be taboo at all. The most important thing to consider is for both parties to listen with the intent to understand. And for each to speak the truth clearly and honestly. That is when genuine and open communication occurs and will, ultimately, lead to better relationships.

The importance of asking someone ''How are you'' ? in days of Covid 19

 Lots of us worried about the coronavirus pandemic, and everyone has been affected one way or another during pandemic. Today I was thinking about what can I do to stay positive throughout this tough time. 

 I received a message from my colleague Paris.  ''Good morning, how are you feeling today? '' Followed by that message she does genuinely share her thoughts and gave some motivation for the day. She also inspired me by sharing her healthy eating habits and workout routines. Then I understand, we cant make the virus go away, we are not in control of the number of cases that is reported every day. The next best thing that all of us can do: double down on kindness. Even simple gestures go a long way. No matter how positive or confident we are our mind will constantly battle our positive thoughts. The one simple message i received this morning gave me that little bit of extra energy for the day. 

“How’re you feeling?”

“How are you handling it all?”

“Need some advice?”

“Want to chat?”

That’s all it takes to check-in. It takes no more than a few minutes. It’s not going to kill your goals, ruin your work or take time away from your passion. It’s one thing you can do to help others.  

It really matters.

Remember we are all in this together