Why We Think Differently: The Power of Programming

Have you ever wondered why two people, even from the same family, can think so differently and lead such distinct lives? Siblings raised under the same roof, with the same parents and similar upbringing, can often have vastly different approaches to life. Why is that?

The answer lies in the concept of programming—how our minds are shaped by upbringing, parenting, environment, and personal experiences. Who we are, how we think, and the choices we make are heavily influenced by this subconscious programming. This doesn't mean one way of thinking is right and another is wrong. It simply means that we all navigate life based on our unique mental programming, which can explain why no two people see the world the same way.

The Role of Upbringing and Parenting

Our upbringing is one of the first and strongest influences on our thought patterns. From a young age, we absorb ideas, values, and behaviors modeled by our parents and caregivers. However, even siblings raised by the same parents can experience different forms of attention, expectations, and discipline. For example, one sibling may be more independent, while another could be more reliant on parental approval. These variations can subtly program their minds differently, leading them to make distinct choices in adulthood.

Environmental Influence

Environment also plays a crucial role. This isn't just the physical environment but the emotional and social one too. The friends we make, the schools we attend, the neighborhoods we grow up in—all these elements add to our programming. Two siblings might attend the same school but could fall into different social groups, experience different levels of peer pressure, and engage in distinct activities. These environmental factors can shape their worldviews and decision-making processes, sometimes creating stark contrasts in how they handle life challenges.

The Power of Personal Experiences

Personal experiences further refine our programming. Think of life as a series of lessons, where every success, failure, or challenge adds to your unique set of beliefs. Even siblings, despite growing up together, won't have identical experiences. One may face more challenges, leading to resilience, while the other may develop caution or a more sensitive approach. These differences in experience result in different mental and emotional responses to similar situations, influencing life choices and perspectives.

The Uniqueness of Individual Programming

Despite similar backgrounds, each of us processes the world through our own mental filter. This filter is built over time, constructed from both conscious and subconscious programming. That’s why one sibling may thrive in a corporate environment while another gravitates toward entrepreneurship. One might be risk-averse, while the other becomes a risk-taker. It’s not that one approach is superior to the other; it’s simply that their life programming is different.

No One is Right or Wrong—Just Different

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that one perspective is correct and another is wrong. But when you realize that we are all the products of our unique mental programming, it becomes clear that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to approach life. What works for one person may not work for another because their journey, their programming, and their experiences are different.

This understanding can bring more empathy and less judgment into our interactions with others. Rather than seeing someone’s differences as a flaw, we can start to appreciate how their life experiences have shaped them into the person they are today.

Why Siblings Think Differently

So, why do siblings from the same family often have such different approaches to life? While they share much of their upbringing, the subtle variations in parenting, environmental influences, and personal experiences create distinct mental programming for each individual. This is why one sibling might take a more conventional path, while another seeks out something entirely different.

Ultimately, who we are is the sum of the choices we make, the experiences we have, and the mental programming we receive along the way. When we understand this, it’s easier to accept that no two people, not even two siblings, will see the world the same way. And that’s okay—because our differences are what make us uniquely ourselves.

Have You Ever Felt Tired of Everything in Life?

We’ve all been there at some point—feeling like the weight of everything is just too much. You wake up exhausted, even after a full night’s sleep. The things you once loved doing now seem like a chore. You find yourself asking, Why do I feel this way? Why does everything feel so heavy?

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Just this week, I had this exact conversation with three different people. Their response? “It’s easy to say.”

And that’s the thing—when we’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, advice can feel like empty words. But acknowledging how common this feeling is may just be the first step toward addressing it.

Why Do We Feel So Tired?

Feeling tired—physically, emotionally, and mentally—is more common than we might think. It can happen to anyone, no matter how “together” their life may look from the outside. There are a few core reasons why this fatigue creeps in:

1. Burnout: When we push ourselves too hard for too long, whether at work, in relationships, or while pursuing personal goals, we risk burnout. It's the body and mind’s way of saying, “Enough!” Often, we keep going because society glorifies hustle and productivity. But eventually, the constant stress takes a toll.

2. Lack of Purpose: If you’re going through the motions without a sense of fulfillment or joy, you may feel emotionally drained. Life becomes a series of tasks without meaning, which can make every day feel exhausting. This is where understanding your Ikigai—the reason for being—comes into play. Without purpose, life can feel like a grind.

3. Emotional Baggage: Whether it’s unresolved conflicts, past traumas, or simply carrying the weight of others' expectations, emotional fatigue can leave you feeling like you’re running on empty. You may not even realize how much these things weigh you down until you hit a breaking point.

4. Neglecting Self-Care: In our busy lives, we often forget to take care of ourselves. We prioritize everything else—work deadlines, family, and social obligations—without giving ourselves time to recharge. But you can’t pour from an empty cup.

5. Unexpressed Emotions: Sometimes, we don’t even recognize that we’re holding onto emotions we haven’t expressed. Suppressing sadness, anger, or fear might seem like a way to avoid pain, but it only leads to emotional exhaustion over time.

“Easy to Say”—But Here’s Why It Matters

It’s true—much of the advice around feeling overwhelmed might seem simple: Take care of yourself, slow down, set boundaries. When you’re feeling drained, these words can sound like a band-aid on a deeper problem.

But here’s why it’s still important to hear them: even small changes can make a difference. The feelings of exhaustion you’re experiencing are real, and no single piece of advice is going to fix it all overnight. However, by breaking things down into manageable steps, you can start to shift out of the fog.

Steps to Reclaim Your Energy

1. Prioritize Self-Care: It’s essential to take time for yourself—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Whether it's a simple walk in nature, journaling your thoughts, or taking a break from social media, self-care helps restore balance.

2. Reconnect with Your Purpose: Take a moment to reflect on what gives you joy and meaning. What activities make you feel alive? Reignite those passions. Discovering your Ikigai—the sweet spot where your passion, mission, vocation, and profession intersect—can help you move forward with purpose.

3. Set Boundaries: Sometimes, we feel drained because we’re giving too much of ourselves to others or to things that don’t serve us. Learn to say no when necessary and protect your energy.

4. Talk About Your Feelings: Find someone to talk to—a friend, a coach, or even a therapist. Sometimes just saying out loud what’s been weighing on you can help lift that burden.

5. Allow Yourself to Rest: Rest is not a reward; it’s a necessity. Allow yourself the time to do nothing. Embrace the idea that resting is productive.

Feeling tired of everything in life is often a sign that something deeper needs attention. It’s your body and soul’s way of saying, “Pause. Reflect. Adjust.” Instead of pushing through the exhaustion, take time to reconnect with yourself, rediscover your purpose, and find what truly energizes you.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, don’t just ask, “Why am I so tired?” but also, “What do I need to feel alive again?”

After all, it’s in asking the right questions and taking small steps that you’ll find the right answers—even if it seems easier said than done.

Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs: A Journey of Transformation

Throughout our lives, we often hear certain narratives about who we are and what we can or cannot achieve. These beliefs, passed down through society, culture, or even our own families, can create limitations that seem insurmountable. For a long time, I internalized many of these ideas—ideas that shaped how I saw myself and my potential. But as time went on, I realized that these beliefs were not truths—they were simply stories that could be rewritten. Here’s how some of the things I once believed have changed.

"Being a Minority, You Can’t Grow to Managerial Level"

Growing up, I was told that as a minority, there would always be a ceiling to how far I could advance, especially in leadership roles. I believed that because of my background, I would face barriers that others wouldn’t. But as I grew in my career, I realized that while challenges exist, they don’t define your path. Through hard work, networking, and continual self-improvement, I broke through that ceiling and grew into leadership roles. What I learned is that while some systems may still hold biases, your perseverance, skills, and the value you bring to the table can overcome those obstacles.

"Being Fat, You Won’t Be Able to Find a Husband"

I used to believe that appearance was everything when it came to relationships. I thought that being overweight would somehow make me unworthy of love. But over time, I discovered that relationships are built on much more than physical appearance. True connections are based on compatibility, shared values, emotional support, and mutual respect. Changing how I viewed myself—embracing self-love and confidence—shifted my perspective on relationships. I found that love isn’t about fitting a certain mold; it’s about finding someone who values you for who you are.

"If You Don’t Have a Degree, You Won’t Be Successful"

This belief used to weigh heavily on me, especially in a world where formal education is often equated with success. But through my journey, I’ve learned that while degrees can open doors, they are not the only path to success. Skills, experience, adaptability, and a growth mindset can take you just as far, if not further. Many of the most successful people I’ve met didn’t follow the traditional path of education, and they built their success through determination, self-learning, and networking. I now see success as a much broader concept—one that’s defined by resilience, creativity, and passion rather than a diploma on the wall.

"Middle Class Can’t Own a Business"

I was taught to believe that entrepreneurship was reserved for the wealthy—those who had the resources to take risks and invest in business ventures. But this belief was shattered when I began meeting and reading about individuals from middle-class backgrounds who started successful businesses from the ground up. The idea that you need to be born into wealth to own a business is simply not true. I’ve learned that with the right strategy, dedication, and willingness to take calculated risks, anyone can become a business owner, regardless of their socioeconomic background.

"If You Are Not an Extrovert, You Can’t Do Networking"

Networking used to seem like an extrovert’s game—a place where only the most outgoing and charismatic people could succeed. As someone who isn’t naturally extroverted, I used to feel like I was at a disadvantage. But as I gained more experience, I realized that networking isn’t about being the loudest person in the room; it’s about building genuine relationships. By focusing on listening, asking thoughtful questions, and connecting with people on a deeper level, I’ve been able to build a strong network—proving that introverts can be just as effective at networking as extroverts.

"If You Don’t Wear Makeup, You Won’t Look Presentable"

The pressure to conform to beauty standards was something I once believed deeply. I thought that to be seen as professional or attractive, I had to wear makeup and present myself in a certain way. But over time, I learned that looking presentable isn’t about adhering to someone else’s standards; it’s about feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin. Whether I wear makeup or not doesn’t define my professionalism, competence, or worth. I now embrace a more authentic version of myself, where I prioritize my comfort and sense of self over external expectations.

"If You Are Not Fair, People Won’t Like You"

Colorism is an unfortunate reality in many cultures, and for a long time, I believed that being fair-skinned was tied to being liked, accepted, or admired. But I’ve since come to realize that real beauty and likability come from within—your personality, kindness, intelligence, and the way you treat others matter far more than skin tone. I’ve learned to love and accept my complexion as part of who I am, rather than seeing it as a limitation.

Changing the Narrative

These beliefs may have once held me back, but I’ve learned that they don’t define my potential or my future. Over time, I’ve actively challenged these narratives and rewritten them with new, empowering beliefs. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been deeply rewarding. Today, I believe that we all have the power to grow, succeed, and live authentically—no matter where we come from or what society tries to tell us.

The truth is, the stories we’ve been told can change. It starts with questioning them, then reframing them in a way that serves us. And when we do, we unlock new possibilities for ourselves and others.

How Are You, Really? The Power of Genuine Self-Reflection

It’s such a simple question, yet we often ask it out of habit. “How are you?” is tossed around in passing conversations, almost like an obligatory greeting rather than a genuine inquiry. But when was the last time you really paused and considered the answer, not just for others, but for yourself?

I started thinking about this recently—when was the last time I truly asked myself, “How are you, really?” I don’t mean the automatic, “I’m fine” or “I’m good.” I’m talking about taking a moment to sit with yourself and genuinely reflect on how you’re feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically.

The Surface Level Response

When people ask how we are, we tend to give surface-level responses. “I’m okay,” “I’m doing well,” or even the ambiguous, “Not too bad.” But these answers are often just placeholders for a deeper truth that we either don’t feel comfortable sharing or haven’t fully explored within ourselves.

If we’re honest, answering that question genuinely requires vulnerability, both with others and with ourselves. And sometimes, that’s difficult. It’s easier to brush past it and keep moving, especially in a world that celebrates busyness and productivity over introspection and emotional health.

Asking Yourself, “How Are You?”

I decided to start asking myself this question more often. It began as a journaling prompt, a way to check in with my feelings beyond just dealing with the day-to-day routine. I found that when I asked myself, “How are you, really?” the answers varied. Some days I felt overwhelmed, other days excited, sometimes I was restless or even lost. The beauty in asking myself this question is that it helped me pinpoint emotions I hadn’t been fully aware of.

Sometimes, I realized I wasn’t “fine” at all—I was anxious or mentally drained. I had just been so used to telling others and myself that everything was okay that I started to believe it. By asking myself the question in a deeper way, I gave myself permission to unpack what I was truly feeling and to address it.

Why It Matters

Taking the time to reflect on how we’re really feeling is essential to our emotional and mental well-being. It’s so easy to get caught up in external obligations—work, relationships, goals—that we forget to check in with ourselves. But ignoring our emotions doesn’t make them go away; it just pushes them further down, where they can manifest as stress, burnout, or even physical symptoms.

By regularly asking ourselves, “How are you, really?” we open the door to self-compassion. It allows us to address our needs, whether that’s taking a break, seeking support, or simply acknowledging that things aren’t okay right now—and that’s okay. It’s about being honest with yourself and making space for what you truly need.

How to Start Asking the Question

It’s not always easy to ask yourself this question, especially if you’ve been avoiding it for a while. But starting small can help. You can try asking yourself, “How am I feeling today?” at the end of each day or when you wake up in the morning. Or you can use it as a journaling prompt to delve into your emotions more deeply.

Don’t rush the process. The goal isn’t to find immediate solutions but to cultivate awareness. Over time, this simple practice of self-inquiry can help you navigate your emotions better, make more mindful decisions, and ultimately live with greater authenticity.

So, how are you, really?

It’s a question worth asking—both to others and to yourself. The next time you find yourself on autopilot, take a moment to pause and reflect. You might be surprised by what you discover when you dig beneath the surface of a habitual “I’m fine.” Because, in reality, the answer to this question is the key to understanding yourself on a deeper level and nurturing your emotional health.

So today, take a moment to ask. You deserve it.

Vijay’s Political Journey: How Ikigai Evolves with Time and Purpose

Actor Vijay’s potential entry into politics has sparked a lot of attention in Tamil Nadu and across India. Vijay, born Joseph Vijay Chandrasekhar, is a renowned Tamil actor with a massive fan following and a string of blockbuster films to his credit. Known for his charismatic screen presence, humility, and his connection with the masses, Vijay has long been seen as someone who could follow in the footsteps of other actors-turned-politicians, such as M.G. Ramachandran and Jayalalithaa. His fans, often described as "Vijay Makkal Iyakkam" (Vijay People's Movement), have organized social welfare activities, which further fueled speculation about his political ambitions.

Vijay’s Political Entry and Ikigai:

Ikigai, a Japanese concept meaning “reason for being,” suggests that a fulfilling life is achieved by finding a balance between four elements: what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. For Vijay, his acting career could be seen as his ikigai for a long time. He loves acting, excels at it, his fans adore him, and his work has been financially rewarding. However, as time goes on, one's ikigai can evolve.

Vijay’s growing interest in politics may signify a shift in his ikigai. He may be drawn to politics because he sees a new purpose emerging—a desire to contribute to society in a different way. While acting satisfies his creative and professional aspirations, politics may satisfy his drive to meet the needs of the world and his fans, to bring about social change, and make a broader impact. In this case, his passion for leadership and societal welfare could be where his new ikigai lies.

How Ikigai Can Change Over Time:

Ikigai is not static—it can change as your interests, passions, and the world around you evolve. At different stages of life, your ikigai may shift due to new experiences, personal growth, or external circumstances. For example, what brings you joy and fulfillment in your 20s might be different from what inspires you in your 40s or 60s. Changes in career paths, personal relationships, health, or societal needs can all influence a person’s ikigai.

In Vijay's case, his potential transition from acting to politics might reflect an evolving sense of purpose. What he loves and values may now extend beyond cinema, focusing more on serving people through public office. His experiences as an actor, the empathy he’s developed by connecting with diverse audiences, and the social influence he wields have possibly ignited a new calling.

For others, this shift can be more subtle. Your ikigai might transition from a passion for personal achievement to a focus on community service, or from financial success to artistic expression. Recognizing when your ikigai is shifting allows you to realign your life’s direction and pursue new opportunities for fulfillment.

Ultimately, ikigai is about embracing the journey rather than the destination. Like Vijay’s possible foray into politics, it’s a reminder that our purpose is fluid, and life’s twists and turns can lead us to new and unexpected forms of fulfillment.

How I Beat Burnout with Ikigai ?

Throughout my 11-year of working life, I've encountered burnout more times than I can count. Regardless of the role I was in, I often felt drained, stuck, and lost, even when I loved my work. Something crucial seemed to be missing.

The breakthrough came when I discovered the Japanese concept of ikigai, which translates to "reason for being." Ikigai lies at the intersection of four key elements: what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. Initially, it seemed straightforward, but it prompted me to delve deeper into my true purpose.

I came to realize that while I was skilled at my job and helping others, I wasn’t always aligning my work with my true passions or what I found meaningful. My career was often driven more by a paycheck than by genuine satisfaction.

Understanding ikigai transformed my perspective. I discovered that my true passion lies in creating meaningful connections, fostering others' growth, and promoting happiness in the workplace. Now, I focus on work that deeply resonates with me.

The journey to finding my ikigai wasn’t easy, but it led me to work with purpose and energy I had never imagined. If you’re struggling with burnout or feeling unfulfilled in your role, let’s connect. Together, we can uncover your ikigai and pave the way to a more fulfilling career.