The ability to love

   

We are ‘sexually liberated’ but we don't know the difference between love and sex. We have sex first then check to see if we're in love afterwards. We 'hook up' then break up. We have sex because it's easy, feels good, and fulfills our needs. But it doesn't have any meaning. It's like getting drunk. It doesn't require any loyalty. There are no sexual taboos. One night stands, friends with benefits, and open relationships are the new normal. Relationships are too complicated and we're not interested in love or exclusivity.
Love is no longer sacred and relationships have no value. In our rush to mix and mingle, we get rid of the most wonderful people in our lives.We've evolved and conquered the world. Yet we've lost the most basic and important human instinct.

The ability to love one another.

Modern relationships aren't like those from a generation or two ago. The modern relationship is a lot more tenuous and people in them seem to end them at a moment's notice. At the first sign of problems, either or both parties involved seem all too willing to end the relationship. No one seems to know what makes a modern relationship so difficult to maintain or why people seem to fall in and out of love so easily. It seems like people today don't know what love is or how to love each  other. The root cause is always having over expectations. Everyone grow up having list of expectations in relationship. Just like a job requirements,the person should fulfill every expectation he or she has,otherwise couples break up or have affairs.

There's no room in our fast-paced modern life for love. We want to enjoy the bright lights and party into the night. We want all the material things money can buy. We form relationships based on convenience. We don't have the space, time or patience to develop loving, lasting relationships. We have dreams to chase. I still believe in true love..

Finding Love in Your 50s: A Matchmaker's Perspective

As a matchmaker, I've seen many individuals in their 50s looking for love. While it can be a time of great excitement, it can also be a time of unique challenges and unrealistic expectations.

One of the biggest challenges for individuals in their 50s is the societal pressure to settle down and find a partner to grow old with. This pressure can lead to unrealistic expectations about what a relationship should look like and what it can provide. It's important for clients in this age group to have a realistic understanding of what they want in a relationship and what they can realistically expect from their partner.

Another challenge that often comes with finding love in your 50s is the baggage from past relationships. Many individuals in this age group may have children, grandchildren, and ex-partners, and they want to make sure that any new relationship will not only make them happy, but also fit into their existing family dynamic. It's crucial to address these concerns and work through them before jumping into a new relationship.

As a matchmaker, my goal is to help individuals in their 50s find love in a way that is healthy, realistic, and fulfilling. This means taking the time to understand each client's unique needs, values, and expectations and finding a match that truly aligns with them. It also means having open and honest conversations about what each person wants and needs from a relationship, and what they can realistically expect from their partner.

It's also important for individuals in their 50s to be open to new experiences and to embrace the joys of dating. This can include trying new activities, exploring new places, and meeting new people. By being open to new experiences, individuals in their 50s can find love in unexpected ways and form lasting connections.

In conclusion, finding love in your 50s can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience. With the help of a matchmaker, you can navigate the challenges and unrealistic expectations that come with dating in this age group, and find love that is healthy, realistic, and fulfilling.

Chemistry

Most dating experts will tell you that while feeling immediately drawn to someone you can also feel really "special" and "irreplaceable" at the moment, chemistry is also something that can be created. As the name implies, it's all about the blending of different elements which results in a unique compound. Sometimes when we meet someone new, our body immediately recognizes that their specific blend of elements is just right and subsequently an energetical bond is formed.
If you find yourselves constantly feeling physically pulled towards each other, then there's a pretty good chance there will be some serious fireworks when your lips do finally lock. When you’re drawn to someone because of chemistry, it’s like magnets. You can’t just be in a room together, you have to be near each other.

While the drive to be physically near one another can be pretty intense to manage, it's definitely a sign that the physical connection between the two of you would be fire. When you find yourselves holding hands, kissing, caressing without even realizing, it’s because you’ve got great chemistry. This is a sign that you’re not just drawn to each other, but that you really want to be connected, physically, at all times. If you're enjoying a night out with someone new that you have yet to kiss but notice a spark when their hand lingers for a second longer than necessary, or you catch yourself finding any excuse to touch them, then that's certainly good news.

You daydream about being with them, you fantasize about being with them and you plan what you want to do when you’re not with them. This is a sign you have great chemistry together. Chemistry is one of those things that can be difficult to put into words or even talk about in a completely rational way. And while it's usually pretty easy to tell when your feeling particularly in sync with someone, the only way to know for sure is to kiss them and see what happens....

Communication : Deal breaker

Recently, I realise too often, a conversation results in wasted time and nothing productive to show for it. Have you came across those who give one word replies, filler words or only use emoji mostly when replying your text? There is also some who ask you same questions every time to start a conversation. Which might be convenient for them but it clearly shows that the person not interested in putting effort to even think out of their comfort zone. If you take it offline, you say something in your usual tone, and they be like, nothing. No reaction.They tend to go deaf when you speak up.

I came across this kind of people a lot and accepted that that's how they are and gave up making further communication with this kind of people. However , being a Dating consultant makes me understand that people nowdays don't realise there are certain deal breakers that can ruin a relationship or even friendship.

What’s the first question most people ask you when you meet or chat ?

It’s likely, “What do you do?” This has become the new “How’s it going?” or “How about that weather?” and it’s awful.If you’re someone like me, this question leaves you feeling sized-up and minimized. It’s as if the asker is thinking to herself, “I’m out of here if she or he doesn’t fit my predetermined criteria of what is interesting. So, you struggle to answer, not even sure if the asker cares in the first place, or if it’s just small talk.

Why does it have to be like this? And why do we care so much about what someone does, anyway? Hopefully, we respect ourselves enough to know that we are dynamic people who can’t be described adequately in one sentence. We also know that we can’t get someone to feel invested in us, or our work, in a quick transactional conversation. Isn’t there a better way?

Yes, but you may have to break a few norms to bust up the status quo to really get to know someone. It takes time to build a relationship or friendship. The initial interaction should be used to find some chemistry and build rapport. If you can spark curiosity in getting to know you more, you've succeeded. Choose any of these questions to have in mind for your next interactions, and see what feels

Most importantly, don’t attack someone with same questions. When you ask, deeply listen. Any questions that come after should be a natural follow up to their response. These are helpful primers, but follow the course that the conversation takes. And then, you will eventually get to know what someone does. No need to lead with it. Ideally, it will uncover itself as you get to know what really matters to your new friend.

Fatherless daughter's story ...

Women who grew up with absent dads find it is difficult to form lasting relationships. Because they were scared by their dad's rejection of them, they don't want to risk getting hurt again. Consciously or unconsciously, they avoid getting close to people. They may form superficial relationships in which they reveal little of themselves and put very little effort into getting to know others. They may become promiscuous as a way of getting male attention without becoming too emotionally involved.

Ever since childhood, I've built walls around myself. I didn't open up to people. I didn't ask questions about their families, jobs, or hobbies. I kept my life private, and I remained socially isolated. These were all self-protective measures so I wouldn't experience rejection like I did with my dad. Knowing this intellectually did nothing to help me change my behavior because my fear of rejection was more powerful than my desire to make connections.

Without a doubt, girls like me always looking for the love and validation we never got from our dad. I was looking for an alternative to a man who never said "I love you" or "you're pretty" and never gave the unconditional acceptance that craves from parent.

No matter how my past was the only thing that i believe currently is daughter whose father abandoned her can grow, thrive, learn, excel, succeed, love and be loved, and live a wonderful life when she realizes that the problem isn't her, it's him. 

Ikigai

If we don’t pay attention to our daily habits, we will get stuck in our emotions, which very often leads to stress, depression and unhealthy lifestyle.  Everyone is busy now days,but are we living the fullest?

What is fullfilling life ?

You get a full night of sleep. You wake up naturally or when your (first) alarm goes off ready to take on the day. Maybe you take a 10-minute walk or workout. You make time to eat a large, healthy breakfast with your family. You are mindful during the meal. You get  ready for work at an intentional pace instead of rushing around. In fact, your entire day has space and margin between the various things you need and want to do. The work you do is aligned with your life purpose. Over lunch, you take a walk outside with a friend and discuss things about life (not work). After work, maybe you do some exercise or take a short nap. Then you have a small dinner and a glass of wine or tea with family or friends.

It’s possible to live a paced and present life.

Heartbreaking photography

The most heartbreaking pictures i have ever seen in my life is the one taken by the famous photographer Kevin Carter, vulture and the starving child (above) that led to him committing suicide at age 33. I was 12 years old when I saw above picture for the very first time. Such a deep meaningful and heart breaking image. When some one explain to me  the story behind the picture I started to cry. For those who never seen this picture before, the large bird-vulture in the picture actually only eats flesh of dead animal. So basically it is waiting for the girl to die so that it can eat her.

When this photograph capturing the suffering of the Sudanese  was published in the New York Times the reaction was not all positive.Some people said that Kevin Carter, the photojournalist who took this photo, was inhumane, that he should have dropped his camera to run to the little girl’s and save her. The controversy only grew when, a few months later, he won the Pulitzer Prize for the photo. By the end of July, 1994, he was dead.Carter took a special assignment in Sudan, where he shot the famous vulture photo. He spent a few days touring villages full of starving people. All the while, he was surrounded by armed Sudanese soldiers who were there to keep him from interfering. Even if he decided to help the little girl, the soldiers wouldn’t have allowed it. In the age of 33 he committed suicide due to depression.He doesn't know what to do with his life,he don't know how to live up to the award he received and he has taken most heart breaking pictures throughout his photojournalism career which is more than enough to kill him deeply from inside.

I was 12 when I saw the picture and ask myself why he did not save the girl ? Just same question as everyone had in their mind.Later I get to know it's not for the sake of the photograph but he was surrounded by soldiers who don't allow him to interfere. However he showed to the world about those who suffering. That's the real reason I always wanted to be humanitarian. That is when i realised meaningful life is the life that useful and helpful for others.

 Up till today, we know many suffering in poverty and hunger. But it is just another news for us,because it's not happening to us. It is happening somewhere far from us. But somewhere some human is dying every second..and we are so called human too so we should be related in someway right? But what we can do..we cant afford to help everyone..we don't afford to help even a single person.

We are living such sad life where we only know about new version of Iphone launch date but we never bother to know about Unicef -sponsor a child programme,volunteer jobs,charity activities in neighbourhood and many more. All we can do is pray and ask God why there is so much suffering in world? Why do you allow so much suffering in the hope that God will never ask back the same question to us.
                        -HUMANITARIAN-