Chemistry

Most dating experts will tell you that while feeling immediately drawn to someone you can also feel really "special" and "irreplaceable" at the moment, chemistry is also something that can be created. As the name implies, it's all about the blending of different elements which results in a unique compound. Sometimes when we meet someone new, our body immediately recognizes that their specific blend of elements is just right and subsequently an energetical bond is formed.
If you find yourselves constantly feeling physically pulled towards each other, then there's a pretty good chance there will be some serious fireworks when your lips do finally lock. When you’re drawn to someone because of chemistry, it’s like magnets. You can’t just be in a room together, you have to be near each other.

While the drive to be physically near one another can be pretty intense to manage, it's definitely a sign that the physical connection between the two of you would be fire. When you find yourselves holding hands, kissing, caressing without even realizing, it’s because you’ve got great chemistry. This is a sign that you’re not just drawn to each other, but that you really want to be connected, physically, at all times. If you're enjoying a night out with someone new that you have yet to kiss but notice a spark when their hand lingers for a second longer than necessary, or you catch yourself finding any excuse to touch them, then that's certainly good news.

You daydream about being with them, you fantasize about being with them and you plan what you want to do when you’re not with them. This is a sign you have great chemistry together. Chemistry is one of those things that can be difficult to put into words or even talk about in a completely rational way. And while it's usually pretty easy to tell when your feeling particularly in sync with someone, the only way to know for sure is to kiss them and see what happens....

Communication : Deal breaker

Recently, I realise too often, a conversation results in wasted time and nothing productive to show for it. Have you came across those who give one word replies, filler words or only use emoji mostly when replying your text? There is also some who ask you same questions every time to start a conversation. Which might be convenient for them but it clearly shows that the person not interested in putting effort to even think out of their comfort zone. If you take it offline, you say something in your usual tone, and they be like, nothing. No reaction.They tend to go deaf when you speak up.

I came across this kind of people a lot and accepted that that's how they are and gave up making further communication with this kind of people. However , being a Dating consultant makes me understand that people nowdays don't realise there are certain deal breakers that can ruin a relationship or even friendship.

What’s the first question most people ask you when you meet or chat ?

It’s likely, “What do you do?” This has become the new “How’s it going?” or “How about that weather?” and it’s awful.If you’re someone like me, this question leaves you feeling sized-up and minimized. It’s as if the asker is thinking to herself, “I’m out of here if she or he doesn’t fit my predetermined criteria of what is interesting. So, you struggle to answer, not even sure if the asker cares in the first place, or if it’s just small talk.

Why does it have to be like this? And why do we care so much about what someone does, anyway? Hopefully, we respect ourselves enough to know that we are dynamic people who can’t be described adequately in one sentence. We also know that we can’t get someone to feel invested in us, or our work, in a quick transactional conversation. Isn’t there a better way?

Yes, but you may have to break a few norms to bust up the status quo to really get to know someone. It takes time to build a relationship or friendship. The initial interaction should be used to find some chemistry and build rapport. If you can spark curiosity in getting to know you more, you've succeeded. Choose any of these questions to have in mind for your next interactions, and see what feels

Most importantly, don’t attack someone with same questions. When you ask, deeply listen. Any questions that come after should be a natural follow up to their response. These are helpful primers, but follow the course that the conversation takes. And then, you will eventually get to know what someone does. No need to lead with it. Ideally, it will uncover itself as you get to know what really matters to your new friend.

Fatherless daughter's story ...

Women who grew up with absent dads find it is difficult to form lasting relationships. Because they were scared by their dad's rejection of them, they don't want to risk getting hurt again. Consciously or unconsciously, they avoid getting close to people. They may form superficial relationships in which they reveal little of themselves and put very little effort into getting to know others. They may become promiscuous as a way of getting male attention without becoming too emotionally involved.

Ever since childhood, I've built walls around myself. I didn't open up to people. I didn't ask questions about their families, jobs, or hobbies. I kept my life private, and I remained socially isolated. These were all self-protective measures so I wouldn't experience rejection like I did with my dad. Knowing this intellectually did nothing to help me change my behavior because my fear of rejection was more powerful than my desire to make connections.

Without a doubt, girls like me always looking for the love and validation we never got from our dad. I was looking for an alternative to a man who never said "I love you" or "you're pretty" and never gave the unconditional acceptance that craves from parent.

No matter how my past was the only thing that i believe currently is daughter whose father abandoned her can grow, thrive, learn, excel, succeed, love and be loved, and live a wonderful life when she realizes that the problem isn't her, it's him. 

Ikigai

If we don’t pay attention to our daily habits, we will get stuck in our emotions, which very often leads to stress, depression and unhealthy lifestyle.  Everyone is busy now days,but are we living the fullest?

What is fullfilling life ?

You get a full night of sleep. You wake up naturally or when your (first) alarm goes off ready to take on the day. Maybe you take a 10-minute walk or workout. You make time to eat a large, healthy breakfast with your family. You are mindful during the meal. You get  ready for work at an intentional pace instead of rushing around. In fact, your entire day has space and margin between the various things you need and want to do. The work you do is aligned with your life purpose. Over lunch, you take a walk outside with a friend and discuss things about life (not work). After work, maybe you do some exercise or take a short nap. Then you have a small dinner and a glass of wine or tea with family or friends.

It’s possible to live a paced and present life.