Heartbreaking photography

The most heartbreaking pictures i have ever seen in my life is the one taken by the famous photographer Kevin Carter, vulture and the starving child (above) that led to him committing suicide at age 33. I was 12 years old when I saw above picture for the very first time. Such a deep meaningful and heart breaking image. When some one explain to me  the story behind the picture I started to cry. For those who never seen this picture before, the large bird-vulture in the picture actually only eats flesh of dead animal. So basically it is waiting for the girl to die so that it can eat her.

When this photograph capturing the suffering of the Sudanese  was published in the New York Times the reaction was not all positive.Some people said that Kevin Carter, the photojournalist who took this photo, was inhumane, that he should have dropped his camera to run to the little girl’s and save her. The controversy only grew when, a few months later, he won the Pulitzer Prize for the photo. By the end of July, 1994, he was dead.Carter took a special assignment in Sudan, where he shot the famous vulture photo. He spent a few days touring villages full of starving people. All the while, he was surrounded by armed Sudanese soldiers who were there to keep him from interfering. Even if he decided to help the little girl, the soldiers wouldn’t have allowed it. In the age of 33 he committed suicide due to depression.He doesn't know what to do with his life,he don't know how to live up to the award he received and he has taken most heart breaking pictures throughout his photojournalism career which is more than enough to kill him deeply from inside.

I was 12 when I saw the picture and ask myself why he did not save the girl ? Just same question as everyone had in their mind.Later I get to know it's not for the sake of the photograph but he was surrounded by soldiers who don't allow him to interfere. However he showed to the world about those who suffering. That's the real reason I always wanted to be humanitarian. That is when i realised meaningful life is the life that useful and helpful for others.

 Up till today, we know many suffering in poverty and hunger. But it is just another news for us,because it's not happening to us. It is happening somewhere far from us. But somewhere some human is dying every second..and we are so called human too so we should be related in someway right? But what we can do..we cant afford to help everyone..we don't afford to help even a single person.

We are living such sad life where we only know about new version of Iphone launch date but we never bother to know about Unicef -sponsor a child programme,volunteer jobs,charity activities in neighbourhood and many more. All we can do is pray and ask God why there is so much suffering in world? Why do you allow so much suffering in the hope that God will never ask back the same question to us.
                        -HUMANITARIAN-

LISTEN TO THE VICTIMS

   

After  a slow start of India's  Me too movement now has shaken the country. Couple of days back i came across one of the most trending news about singer Chinmayi speaks about sexual harassment by the Poet Vairamuthu. I can see same questions asked by press over and  over again.She was forced to stand up and begged media with folded hands to be more sensitive.Not only in india,globally that is how  human nowdays. They victimize the victims and ask stupid question.

It takes great courage to speak up, when you speak up about sexual harassment only respond you get is its normal,forget about it and it is common thing happens to every women. The more disappointing part is If this guy who sexually assault you is family member or close to your family you can still see him in all your family functions, talking to your family, laughing infront of your face, eating dinner served  by your parents in your dining table. Not once or twice, I have heard such stories multiple times in my life and witnessed some as well. My question is what is the point of speaking up,if you choose to simply brush up and never bothers about victims feelings.

Incase some doesnt know let me explain that rape or sexual harassment victims go through a lot of trauma. If you heard about anxiety disorder,panic attacks,bipolar disorder and many more illness they can have all this in package or either one. If you don’t know about it go and google about it. This post is not about it.

     If someone tells you they are victims first listen and understand. No one makes such stories.If they telling it over and over again try to understand that they are not seeking attention. But they are seeking  justice.Because such incidents leaves deep scar, give lifelong trauma,heartache and make someone vulnerable and emotionally dead.

     Trust me it is not easy,that is why even Aishwarya Rai after winning  beauty pageant,pledged that she will work towards womans right worldwide but couldn’t even complain against her own abusive past life. It is not like those days,where you atleast have family support you.Everyone has own life and they say they understand but they wont understand  what you went through unless they had similar experience.

     Any human who just brush of this kind of issue as if nothing happened,say or ask stupid questions towards victims thousand times much more worst than abuser or rapist. These humans say things like forget it,it just nightmare,why you repeating same thing over again or if you speak up after so long like Chinmayi they will ask brilliant question such as WHY NOW? All this intelligent people who ask such question,will just go get busy live their own life,family and kids. None has time to help victims go through dark sides of life. At least they can  stop abusing victims verbally.

   I am very sure everyone remember India’s daughter Jyothi Singh@Nirbhaya's rape case in India. At the end of 84 minute bus journey of hell in New Delhi,she was thrown naked,bleeding and gravely injured into the road. The 2 things that deeply saddening other than the torture she went through is many don’t even come forward to cover her naked body with atleast piece of cloth. Number of people on road ignored the seriously injured couple before they were rushed to hospital. In BBC documentary, "India’s daughter", rapist Mukesh gave interview from jail.He said decent girl wont roam in night and he also blamed her for fighting back.

   If you ever judge victims,blame victims,brush off,did not voice out or support when someone speaks up about sexual harrasement or rape,congratulations! Youre in same category with those who passby Nirbhaya naked bleeding body and choose to ignore and Mukesh the rapist who blamed the victim. I don't see much DIFFERENCE.

   What are we passing to our generation? Just a like family treasures we are passing this kind of sick mentality of ignorance and baseless judgements from generation to generation.  Do we realise in future our daughter or son has to live in such society. They are learning through us.They are watching every single thing we do,not only us,our  entire generation is living example for the next generation.

Ditched by friends after marriage : can you relate?

     When you got married your focus changes.It is no longer about only you.It is about partner,kids and family,in laws and responsibilities. If you are single,very common statement you will hear is, "you don’t understand,marriage life is not that easy". All of us have 24 hours a day,you have to make choices and keep making it all 1,440 minutes of every 24 hours a day. It is all about priorities,yes true indeed!

I feel blessed having friends who always there for me, knows my moods and my everyday life, more than 10 years and nothing has changed over the years. I also have friends who rarely meet but constantly text me to check on me atleast once a week. and many more sincere friends. No matter what our status,lifestyle or responsibilities we still keep each other in priority list.Why?
   
     These people has same 24 hours a day and much more busy life but they know value of friendship. We are friends who turned to family now.Thats what i call true friendship. I have been there for them so they know they will be there for me.So if you happen to get ditched totally after your friend married it does not means you don’t deserve such meaningful friendship. It is totally because your friend needs more than 24 hours to include you in life after married. Most important things,priorities !!!!

    I totally disagree with the statement that friendships fades after marriage,true friends will stick together through thick and thin. I am proud to say i have such amazing friends.That being said,being married doesn’t mean you should neglect your friends totally. If you ever did that due to any reasons such as focus changes,lack of time or priorities changed.My only advice is don’t come back one day and expect to be treated as same way. Because life doesn’t have pause or rewind button.

     Trust me if you choose to be so busy with own life for so long and come back to renew  friendship,many things might changed.Even your bodies and minds changes every 7 year,every cell in your body replaced by new cells. The only thing that does not change in this world is the word itself : change. So if  you don’t make effort,people eventually will leave you or maybe forget you. Making effort is not about picking up phone once in blue moon and asking for meet up or  planning reunions once a year.

    My 2 cents advice is stay connected.When I say stay connected i mean connected for real. No matter how advanced we are,human touch is something that everyone deserve. A true friend does not only has to know updates about you from social media. I will kill my best friend if she updates something very important in social media before she tells me.Come one i have been with you before we had Nokia3310 !! But I am blessed I get what I give in my life. People love me more than i love them.

   My all time favourite quote by Will Smith, If you’re absent during my struggle don’t expect  to be present during my success. There is group of people will remember you only when they need help or when they lonely. While some only remains as memories in photo albums. Ask yourself where you stand in your friends life ?

What is your ultimate goal of relationship ?

There is something meaningful that i realise about relationship recently. Happy relationship doesnt means that you have to agree with each other all the time or liking same things. It is all about accepting the person as they are and love them completely for who they are. Respect their needs,choices and learn to accept the flaws.

When two different individual with two different walk of life meet and fall in love it is impossible to have same kind of mindset. How they overcome the differences,tolerate and learn to respect each other is what makes the relationship beautiful and strong. That requires maturity too.

We often think getting into commited relationship is hardest thing and impossible in todays world. Yes it does requires lots of patience,effort and understanding. The most important thing is, all this only works if both of them put the equal amount of effort.

Another important thing is having clear goals in relationship/marriage.
Ask yourself why are you even in this relationship ?
What is your marriage/relationship goals?
If you dont have answer for any of this it means it is time to re-evaluate your relationship!

Why it is so important to allow "The Pause" in life ?

When was the last time you press the pause button of your life?
When was the last time you stop living for the future and start living for the moment you're in now - present ?
We are very busy chasing so many things in life till we dont realise the power of the pause.

Why it is so important to allow pause in life?

Pause your life to ask yourself how, what
and why you're  doing things you doing right now.

Pause your life to see the blessings around you.

Pause your life to truly appreciate and acknowledge the people in your life.

Pause your life to celebrate and be happy for the success and happiness of others.

Pause your life to enjoy when others celebrate your victories and be happy for you.

Pause your life to be available for loved ones completely.

When in doubt,pause to think.

When angry,pause to think whether it is necessary.

When you find yourself constantly rushing, take a moment to pause. It may be time to catch up, or evaluate your actions. Life happens. Everyone needs a break from everything. 

Have you ever pause and enjoy the little things in life?
Sunshine,good cup of tea,gloomy days..
Yes we do,we take pictures

 as a return ticket to the memories otherwise it is gone. We upload it in Instagram with a nice caption and hashtag.
That is one of the thing that technology gifted us. But not sure how many of us truly lived the moments in photographs.
How about human's?

First step of a child,first touch of a new born,first argument with loved ones,the friend who always listens to all your gossips, the girlfriend who always complains of everything,the over protective boyfriend,last breath of parent,the blind man who needs help to cross road and many more can we get all this feelings if we dont pause moments of life in between busy life.

The principle of life is to pause not bypass.

Dreams and wakeup calls

She loves the beauty of dreams
Her dreams are full of colours..
It is always full of love..
Lots of love..
It started when she was a little girl,
Disney taught her that all fairy tales ends
with  "Happily ever after "
Laughters are timeless,
Imagination has no age..
Dreams are forever..
Since that moment..
She never stopped dreaming of
happy endings..
In between all the
struggles of growing up
She still dreams..

Yet there is always something
Stops her from from dreaming..
It hits her right in the feels..
Everytime she dreams

It hits her right in the feels..
Like a wakeup call to the reality..
These wake up calls comes in many forms..
At times as a phone call,
As a voice from the other side..
As a train stop..
As a farewell goodbyes
As a promise that never made..
As a ticking clock,
As a last page of favourite book,
At times its just a plain wake up call..
It wakes her up and shows the reality
Everytime she dreams..

Then there is this questions..
Isn't wrong to desire?
Isn't it wrong to dream?
Isn't she deserve the
happiness of reality too..?
Like everyone else she wants to live the life of her dream..

This time she decides to dream
beyond infinity..

Being the voice for the voiceless

"And why across the world there’s a woman just like me, with the same abilities and the same desires, same work ethic and love for her family, who would most likely make better films, and better speeches — only she sits in a refugee camp.

She has no voice.
She worries about what her children will eat, how to keep them safe, and if they’ll ever be allowed to return home"

This was by Angelina Jolie ,after winning Humanitarian Award in 2013 about her choice of being the voice for the voiceless. Now, this is not about Angelina Jolie or refugees. This is about "being the voice for the voiceless". Couple of days before i posted a status in Facebook about my depression with #IKilledSuicide 

My intention is to be the voice for the voiceless people who had similar experience but choose not to share about it. What makes them to be voiceless? They afraid of being judged,being criticised by society for not being strong enough in facing challenges.

What makes a society? Isn't you and me?

How many of us heard about suicide cases in daily life.There must be atleast one person from our relatives,friends,collegue, school/collegemate have commited suicide.
Can we deny the fact or statistics?

From someone who prefer to keep my life very private i choose to share about my depression very openly for I killed suicide page just to help the voiceless people who is still struggling.

The post itself was for a good cause to share stories of personal experiences to help and prevent suicide and it is for Facebook page called  I killed suicide. The hashtag itself explained that i killed suicide thoughts.
When people share about their stress, anxiety or problems we see them as vulnerable, pathetic and weak person. 

The moment you making fun of this,there is someone out might be taking their last breath,attempting suicide or thinking about taking their life.That someone can be your best friend,brother,sister,family mother,father or just someone you met 10 minutes ago.

You going to say no, you know them better? They are fine. NO ! Dont be very sure about it. You and me belongs to the same ignorant and selfish society.We are busy running after career,money and family. We care about likes in social media more than wellbeing of person next to us. It is not wrong to be so. I have been there i have done that.. But not anymore.. Spread love and kindness.. The smallest act of kindness brings big impact. 

I thank everyone who send positive messages,encouraged me and also those apologizing for not being there for me. Very few asked me, "How are you now?" Thank you for being human enough.End of the day that is all we need.

Be kind,say positive things,be positive,love and care everyone.

Ignorance kills human relationships

Why people choose to ignore or dont appreciate people they love ?
Why ego,Ignorance and lack of commitment  killing relationship nowdays ? When we choose to appreciate someone? When its too late.

Have you met anyone griefing loved ones death? They always have something nice to talk about loved ones. When someone is still we dont put much effort to show our emotions and love. Anytime might be the last time you are seeing someone. Why we forget that life is very short.

Do you know that most marriages fail because of ignorance in a relationship due to lack of emotions from one side?

One person showers love, other fails to return. Mind it ignorance in a relationships is not always due to lack of emotions from one side. In fact there are many other factors.

Sometimes, the problem with emotions in a relationship is not that they are missing, it is because they are not what they should be.Instead of love, there is anger,instead of warmth, there is cold and with this emotions no marriage or relationship can improve.

ASSUME makes an ASS of YOU and ME.

Why do people like to assume everything? Sometimes we make assumptions because we simply don't have the time to think something through or do an analysis and check for understanding. Do we realise how much we hurt others by doing this?

We assume something before someone finish their sentence..

We assume girls who wear sexy dress is whore/slut..

We assume those who openly talk about their life struggles are attention seekers..

We assume those who talk about depression seeking for sympathy..

We assume the dark skinned guy in bike is a bad guy

We assume every girls out every night is asking to get raped

I can list thousand and one things we assume in our daily life.If you notice i did not mention "they" i mention " we ". I inculde myself because im not perfect..i might assume something and it turns the other way.
   The question now is who gave us the rights to assume anything? Who give us right to judge anyone ?Who taught us to think this way..We often hear people say the society is sick..society is very bad..and all sort of negative things about society.
Now lets think what is society?

We blame society,but do we realise we are the society?

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.'