One might say, “Dad was my hero. He was always there for us.”
While the other might quietly respond, “I remember feeling neglected. I never felt seen by him.”
Same house. Same timeline.
But two very different emotional realities.
This isn’t about who’s right or wrong.
It’s about how our perception shapes memory more than the events themselves.
Each child grows up with their own personality, needs, emotional lens, and role in the family. Maybe one was the peacemaker, while the other felt pressure to achieve. Maybe one craved attention and got it, while the other stayed quiet and felt invisible.
Our brains don’t record memories like a camera.
They filter experiences through feelings, attention, attachment, and even survival instincts.
And as we grow, our inner narratives strengthen:
“I was the responsible one.”
“I was always left out.”
“I was the favourite.”
“I had to fight for love.”
These stories become part of our identity—and they shape the way we remember the past.
So next time you hear a sibling (or someone close) describe your shared past in a way that feels totally foreign to you, pause before jumping to defend your version.
Instead, consider this: What they’re remembering is real to them.
And perhaps, both stories can exist side by side—different, yet equally valid.
